I’m more or less out of the comic business at this point. The Cutting Room isn’t dead so much as it’s in a coma while my partner and I try to figure out how to kill it. But I imagine every once in a while when a comic is easy and I have some time on my hands I’ll throw one out there for the giggles and the whatnot. This is one of those times. It’s a super relevant comic, too, because it relies on a basic knowledge of a cartoon that’s been off the air for a decade and an ad campaign that’s been gone even longer, probably. Enjoy!
E
I get asked for advice and help with writing a lot. Often these questions come with links to other advice with more questions. “Is this true?” “Is this how you do it?” “Should I just put my shit in a drawer because it can’t possibly be any good?”
When you search for general writing advice online, nine times out of ten the advice presumes you suck and are an idiot who is kidding him or herself. This presumption, like all writing, says much more about the source than the subject. Sorkin and Moffat and Whedon aren’t sitting at home handing out advice anonymously on internet forums. They just aren’t. And they aren’t trolling you. They will never try to break you down just for funsies. And I bet they never googled how to be a writer.
E
If there exists a more attractive human than Yvonne Strahovski I don’t think my brain could process the sight of them. They would just appear to my eyes like a spinning beach ball floating in the air.
[video]
Maybe I should explain. I have huge, egregious holes in my film knowledge. We all do. For me pretty much if it happened before 1980 and wasn’t made in the US or UK I probably haven’t seen it. I’ve been aware of and embarrassed by this for some time but the laziness that created the holes maintains them. But no more! I’m fixing this shit, dammit. But I need your help. Tell me, please, what movies you feel a human MUST see. If I haven’t seen it I’ll add it to the list. It’s that easy. I’m going to do my best to watch the top 100 films this year. Please don’t feel like you have to suggest all foreign or classic films, suggest the Matrix if you want. I’ve seen that one, but if I hadn’t that would be insane and in need of fixin’. The point is, I could just go to the AFI top 100 list, but I’d rather watch the stuff that actual, whole people think needs to be watched. Suggest genre films, indy films, blockbusters, your wedding video, I don’t care. Whatever. Anything you think is genius, or that means the world to you or whatever.
I’ll give you some examples. “In a Lonely Place” is up first. I’ve been meaning to watch that thing forever. Looks genius, I just haven’t done it. “Goodfellas” is going on the list. That’s right, I haven’t seen “Goodfellas.” I don’t know how it happened but it did and now I have to fix it. Hell, suggest Transformers 3, if you want. I’m not going to watch it, but I’ll appreciate the help nonetheless.
So…yeah. Please help. Here’s how to get in touch with me:
email: ethan [at] 207pictures.com
Twitter: @ethanhunter
Facebook: TheEthanHunter
Call or text me if you know my number.
or, just use the ask a question/suggest a film section of this website.
Thanks so much, guys. I appreciate it.
E
No joke. The words of advice that most commonly run through my mind run in Alec Baldwin’s voice. “Shoulders back, Lemon. You’re not welcoming people to Castle Frankenstein.” Thrice a day, give or take.
A fairly close second is the sound of my Dad’s voice saying, “Never call to an inside straight.”
I guess what I’m saying is I have shitty posture and possibly a gambling problem.
Happy holidays,
E
Yesterday my three year old nephew Batman and I made some turkey-shaped treats. We were meant to make these things a little closer to Thanksgiving but we’re busy, man. There’s lots of pants pooping and needless destruction and cartoon watching to be done. And Batman has stuff to do, too. So yesterday we finally got to it. These delicious little bastards consist of rice krispies treats, fudge stripe cookies and candy corn, basically. Bats took a kind of surrealist approach, making some kind of mutant porcupine turkey thing. And just mostly ate his ingredients. Because Bat’s takes a kind of surrealist approach to life, which I totally dig.
I made Larry.
I absolutely cannot bring myself to eat him.
And a good, messy time was had by all. Baaaawwwww.
E
Christmas is a lot like college. It’s a little bit magic. A little bit unreal. A little too white, probably. A little expensive but sometimes money just shows up in the mail. And you drink more and eat more than you should if you were in the real world but you aren’t so no worries. And a dorm room and a bottle of Aristocrat vodka, that’s mistletoe gone wild. It comes just before the unwrapping.
[video]
And forgive me if this sort of thing has been said before.
My parents’ generation grew up in the shadow of the bomb. It hung over them and terrified them and they protested. They did not trust the people at the triggers and they saw no need for a weapon system that could end everything and they had to do something. And so they protested.
The bomb was an idea as much or more than it was anything else and the better idea was not killing millions of people. So en masse and not infrequently in handcuffs they offered their better ideas. They put flowers in the barrels of guns and had lots and lots of sex and they said life was the better idea.
The bomb that hangs over my generation is the future. And the future is an idea as much or more than it’s anything else. It’s not as tangible as a bomb, sure, but more volatile and every bit as dangerous in the wrong hands. And we do not trust the people at the trigger so we are protesting.
The biggest difference I see is our lack of mutually assured destruction. Back in the day If we dropped a bomb, then someone would retaliate and vice versa. Murder was the same thing as suicide in those days and that’s a powerful deterrent.
But we don’t have that kind of assurance. We know we don’t. We’ve seen what happens when the triggermen knowingly, deliberately detonate the economy and government and, with them, many, many tomorows. What happens is WE pay to clean it up. We bail them out and they walk away burdened only with the weight of our cash in their pockets.
What Occupy is, to me, is the better idea. The better idea is fairness and decency and trust. The idea is that maybe the one percent shouldn’t be cheating their way to making the world a small, brutal mess for the ninety-nine percent.
The better idea is life.
The triggermen are on Wall Street and Occupy is saying we’d like it if you didn’t murder us. And if you do pull the trigger, you won’t find us on our knees. You’re going to look us in the eye while you do it.
E